This year, I wanted to do things differently. I didn't want a busy November followed by a wild December ride to Christmas. I wanted to stop. Relax. Enjoy my family. Breathe.
So I did. We've hunkered down and stayed home a lot the past two weeks, and we're looking forward to a lot more quiet time in the coming weeks as well. The girls and I spend our mornings doing some light school work (mostly just math and reading about Greece and Christmas trolls - not that those are related at all) and our afternoons playing, baking/cooking, learning Christmas songs in French and on the piano, and piling under blankets to read. It's nice. We're finding our rhythm.
But it isn't all cozy picturesque holiday pleasantness here. On the down side, I just want to hide under my favorite down alternative blanket and eat. For the next three months. I don't know, maybe I'm part bear or something. I could potentially gain twenty pounds just in December. I might actually have to watch that, since now that I'm gf my body has finally figured out how to gain weight, and it's going to pass the acceptable holiday weight gain marker very quickly.
The other down side is the feeling of isolation. While it is truly a joy to see my girls playing together and becoming best friends (NEVER thought I'd see that day), Ella misses being around the other kids. And I'm beginning to really feel it too. We intentionally held back this year, because we didn't want to overschedule our first year of homeschooling, but we haven't even been to a park playdate in weeks. Now, we have our excuses. We missed a really great field trip to a farm because we were sick, and one week it was cold and wet, and now we've been busy taking care of one very old, very large, very arthritic dog who can't spend extended periods of time inside or outside when it's cold. So we have to be around to let him in and out and in and out, or the cold really does a number on him. See, we have our reasons, but some days that just doesn't make me feel any better about it.
Don't get me wrong, I still love this down time. I love watching the girls take over the house with paper and books and crafts. And I love the extra time to reflect and plan for some changes to the second half of our school year. And I absolutely love my sweat pants and my blanket and the chance to catch up on some reading. But today is one of those days.
Pretty soon, we'll be hopping from family thing to family thing, and I'll be glad we took the opportunity to just BE while we had the chance to do so. But for now, today, I'm aching for something more. I don't know what exactly, because I look over at the girls making a huge lizard habitat solely out of computer paper, crayons, and tape, and I smile. Because I know I'm glad we made time for this. And tomorrow is a busy day and I'll probably wish we could just stay home and BE all afternoon. But for now . . .