1. I wanted to pay it forward. I wanted a space where I could share resources and ideas, in the hopes that maybe someone will be helped by something I've found, created, or learned, in much the same way that I have been helped by so many others this past year.
2. I wanted to give an honest account of our first year. I wanted to document the highs and the lows and hopefully have a truthful representation of how the good outweighs the bad, even in that tumultuous first year.Number one is easy. Number two . . . I'm not so sure now about number two. I did share some of our struggles, and I'm not under any delusion that I come off looking like some perfect mother (HA!); however, I'm not sure how truthful or transparent I've been.
Then again, do you really want complete transparency? I usually talk about problems we have once I have some sort of plan or solution, because I don't want to come here day after day to whine or vent about the same things. I could. But would anyone want to read that? I certainly don't want to write that, although I'm pretty sure I've done a good bit of that here already.
As a gesture of full disclosure, let me tell you that we had a rough start to our summer. Actually, rough doesn't begin to describe the past two weeks. My oldest has been looking for a fight every single day. It starts before breakfast is finished and continues until bed time. There was sick and medication weariness. We have virtually no summer rhythm, despite the snazzy printout I made. There was the dog at death's door (he's still battling advanced arthritis and needs lots of help and attention). I overreached in my goals for the summer (that's clear even though it's only June). Clearing out the clutter is sucking the life out of me, even though I know it's going to feel great when I'm done. I've been called names, had things thrown at my head, and been screamed at in my already aching ears. There MIGHT have even been an event with a mouse who was determined to use the lint from my laundry room to nest in my walls no matter how many peppermint-soaked cotton balls I stuffed in that pipe hole behind the toilet.
So, you see, the next time you feel inadequate reading someone else's blog post about how they made homemade granola and line dried their clothes and sang songs with their children and had a fantastic day, just remember that the day before could have just as easily been filled with angry, shrieking kids, a dying dog, clutter busting, and a nest-obsessed mouse.