Last year, I pushed myself to do a lot of new things. Doing so required me to carve out time and space for myself. It was great in a lot of ways, and I created some amazing things with all of that hard work. I was also on the outside a lot. I spent a lot of time on the periphery, doing my work while the rest of my family played together. While it was a sort of necessary evil, I have to make sure it was only a temporary setup. That's partly why I chose CENTER as my word for 2015.
I want a reminder to stay in the middle and to surround myself with people, places, and things I love. I want to experience the joys of life with these people, not just arrange activities for them while I work in a corner. Of course, there will still be times when I have to do that, but my goal is to set a better schedule for myself so it doesn't happen as often.
And then there's the personal application of the word CENTER. The peace and quiet pleasure I've been missing. A lot of it is my own doing, so I'm giving up coffee and sugar, and one day I hope to feel human again. In the meantime, I'm pushing myself a little less. I'm setting big goals, then stepping back and looking at them a second time, asking myself if I can realistically get these things done while still taking care of myself and while giving my loved ones the time and attention they deserve. I've had to make some Not Fun choices in my planning already, but I feel better for scaling back. Allowing myself room to breathe and grow.
I don't have a handle on some perfect-for-me schedule yet. This isn't one of those things I can decide to do on January 1st and *POOF* it's done. It's probably going to take the whole year to figure out this dance, but I'm convinced it will be worth it.